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this only happens at dawn February 10, 2010

I’ve been typing and deleting entries for the past 15 minutes. I just don’t know why I suddenly SUCK at writing blogs. It supposed to be natural and instant, no hard thinking involved. Well I guess that don’t work for me anymore. Ever since I moved to wordpress and purchased this new ‘hosting’ domain, I kind of feel, I lost that sense of ‘privacy’ I had in my previous blog. It’s kind of lameeee I know…because IT IS STILL a blog which is publicly displayed for the… public. I just feel different writing in here. I don’t know whyyyyy…
Is it because of wordpress? or I’m just not used to it yet? (no way… I’ve been blogging here for more than 6 months already!) This is just weirdddd…

I could blog endlessly at blogger.com, write all the non-sense and the daily happenings , post all sort of crazy photos I had and MOST IMPORTANTLY, I used to write everyday. Blogging was a big part of my life last time. Sometimes I wish, there were no one reading my entries so I could just write anything I want. A story about torn friendship, broken heart, family-related problems… literally, anything. It’s just impossible to jolt everything down here and let the world see, isn’t it? May be one of the reason why is my personal experience… writing about how things have changed with people around me. They found out and they throw tantrums at me. I don’t want they hate me because I wrote about them… you know… I just have to write it somewhere, let my feelings out. (please note that I didn’t write bad things abt them, not at all) I just don’t want to lose any friends, any real friends whom I’ve known for several years. Anyway, that happened years ago when I just started blogging. Yes, it is traumatic and thus I don’t want to write anything so personal anymore (unless I’m 100% sure none of my REAL friends are reading this blog) :p

One last thing,
to faradian:
I missed you guys so much. Each and every one of you had played a big role in my life that makes me who I am today. I learnt A LOT. I don’t want to lose any of you guys. I will never want to fight with any of you. You guys are just TOO important for me. I love you guys SO MUCH! I hope we all can gather someday, somewhere and have a great catch up. I-FREAKING-MISS-ALL-OF-YOU!!!!!!

to the bitches:
I’m very sorry that we didn’t hang out that often this time round… I really missed you guys.
I’m happy that we could meet up in certain events. You know I love you guys right? Stay in touch and keep me in the loop alright bitches?

to binals:
hello new family. I felt greatly welcomed here… I feel home. Need I say more?
I think I’ve bonded so strong with some of you in just a brief amount of time. Does karma play a part in this? I believe so…

to my dearest readers:
thank you… I would be nothing without you guys. Thanks for accompanying me with my ups and downs… reading my stupid entries + endless rants… :p I hope you love me? Because I do… hahas

to whom it may concern:
I want to fix this broken string ASAP. The big question is, do you want to fix it? I don’t want to lose this friendship.

I’m grateful to have family & friends who loves me the way I am. Thank you for being that way. I will change for the better, I promise.

fight for what you want February 7, 2010

the internet ruined my life February 5, 2010

HELLO GUYS!!! it’s 3.40 AM right now and I’m feeling crazy fresh! I need to force myself to sleep somehow though… because I have class at 12 noon later… I’ve screwed up my sleeping schedule since… the beginning of 2010. ouch! I know… January supposed to be the new beginning… new routine… and blablabla… BUT HOW?! :’(

The most common questions I got from my friends on WHY am i sleeping 4 – 5 AM in the morning is… WHAT DID YOU DO? and the most appropriate answer would be – BROWSING. Facebook, twitter, tumblr, youtube, fashion blogs, MSN, SKYPE, blogging, etc. There are just endless sites I could visit.

It always starts with… “okay, I’m gonna check on my facebook for 15 minutes and I’m outta here” and guess what? I’m always end up with hours and hours of browsing!!! Yes true, internet has ruined my life… especially my SLEEPING SCHEDULE! but on the other hand, i love the fact that internet exist. All you have to do is to on your laptop, to kill the time… There are a bunch of interesting sites where you can learn stuff that teachers don’t teach at school… In fact, I LEARNT A LOT from the internet. I even made friends online!

Well well, it’s not the internet to blame that MY or… in this case, OUR sleeping schedule is ruined right? It’s still up to us how long we want to spend our time in front of the laptop, browsing / chatting. I need to fix my sleeping schedule in the near future. FOR REAL! or else these complexions are getting worse and worse! argh~

Anyway, I gotta go… the sun will rise soon!!! I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP! BYE! :p