this only happens at dawn

I’ve been typing and deleting entries for the past 15 minutes. I just don’t know why I suddenly SUCK at writing blogs. It supposed to be natural and instant, no hard thinking involved. Well I guess that don’t work for me anymore. Ever since I moved to wordpress and purchased this new ‘hosting’ domain, I kind of feel, I lost that sense of ‘privacy’ I had in my previous blog. It’s kind of lameeee I know…because IT IS STILL a blog which is publicly displayed for the… public. I just feel different writing in here. I don’t know whyyyyy…
Is it because of wordpress? or I’m just not used to it yet? (no way… I’ve been blogging here for more than 6 months already!) This is just weirdddd…

I could blog endlessly at blogger.com, write all the non-sense and the daily happenings , post all sort of crazy photos I had and MOST IMPORTANTLY, I used to write everyday. Blogging was a big part of my life last time. Sometimes I wish, there were no one reading my entries so I could just write anything I want. A story about torn friendship, broken heart, family-related problems… literally, anything. It’s just impossible to jolt everything down here and let the world see, isn’t it? May be one of the reason why is my personal experience… writing about how things have changed with people around me. They found out and they throw tantrums at me. I don’t want they hate me because I wrote about them… you know… I just have to write it somewhere, let my feelings out. (please note that I didn’t write bad things abt them, not at all) I just don’t want to lose any friends, any real friends whom I’ve known for several years. Anyway, that happened years ago when I just started blogging. Yes, it is traumatic and thus I don’t want to write anything so personal anymore (unless I’m 100% sure none of my REAL friends are reading this blog) :p

One last thing,
to faradian:
I missed you guys so much. Each and every one of you had played a big role in my life that makes me who I am today. I learnt A LOT. I don’t want to lose any of you guys. I will never want to fight with any of you. You guys are just TOO important for me. I love you guys SO MUCH! I hope we all can gather someday, somewhere and have a great catch up. I-FREAKING-MISS-ALL-OF-YOU!!!!!!

to the bitches:
I’m very sorry that we didn’t hang out that often this time round… I really missed you guys.
I’m happy that we could meet up in certain events. You know I love you guys right? Stay in touch and keep me in the loop alright bitches?

to binals:
hello new family. I felt greatly welcomed here… I feel home. Need I say more?
I think I’ve bonded so strong with some of you in just a brief amount of time. Does karma play a part in this? I believe so…

to my dearest readers:
thank you… I would be nothing without you guys. Thanks for accompanying me with my ups and downs… reading my stupid entries + endless rants… :p I hope you love me? Because I do… hahas

to whom it may concern:
I want to fix this broken string ASAP. The big question is, do you want to fix it? I don’t want to lose this friendship.

I’m grateful to have family & friends who loves me the way I am. Thank you for being that way. I will change for the better, I promise.